Have Hoodie, Will Die

“His hoodie killed Trayvon Martin as surely as George Zimmerman.”

“You have to recognize that this whole stylizing yourself as a gangster, you’re gonna be a gangsta wannabe? Well, people are gonna perceive you as a menace.”

“I am urging the parents of black and Latino youngsters particularly not to let their children go out wearing hoodies.”

— Geraldo Rivera, Fox News 

Who would have thought it? Racism in America can end, liberty and justice for all can prevail, if only parents would take a pair of scissors and cut the hoods off their kids’ sweatshirts.

While you’re at it, make sure you get rid of those drawstrings. I expect Geraldo will be telling us any day now that they are a leading cause of suicide among American youth.

So chop off those hoods, all you gansta wannabes:

I’m talking to you, Girl Scout gansta wannabe, Air Force One gansta wannabe, Autism Awareness, and cancer research activist gansta wannabes:

Think going to Harvard is going to protect you, gansta wannabe?

It doesn’t matter if you want to save the panda, or cure breast cancer. If you dress like a gansta wannabe, “people are gonna perceive you as a menace” — and perceived menaces can expect to be shot.

This guy (below), looks way too “black [or] Latino . . .  particularly” to even think of wearing his ASPCA hoodie just anywhere in America:

What about this Latino? Daytime here, but I remember Geraldo Rivera making an ass out of himself during one hurricane — maybe in Galveston — at night, on a seawall, after curfew, and wearing a hoodie.